The Worst Mistake I’ve Ever Made in My Drumming Career

I made the worst mistake of my music career a few years ago when I was in college. This wasn’t a “musical” mistake or a performance mistake. This was a huge no-no that violated all the rules of Professionalism 101.

I attended a small in-state school, and I was blessed to have lots of scholarship opportunities that paid my way through college. Though small, this school had a fantastic, accredited music program with world-class faculty. We had all the standard ensembles that music schools have, from jazz band to wind ensemble to orchestra, musical theater, marching band, choir...you name it.

Because the school was fairly small and there were only a handful of percussion majors, most of us percussionists were involved in nearly all of the ensembles to some degree. Wind ensemble was the big one, which all scholarship music students had to be a part of. (For those unfamiliar, “wind ensemble” is basically an orchestra without the strings. AKA “symphonic band.”) We had one of the best band directors in the country, and our wind ensemble was a group that the school took very seriously and was very proud of. We played well, and we were proud of what we got to do.

By fall of my junior year, I was gigging fairly regularly outside of school. I was grateful for these opportunities because they kept me from being the “broke college student” that so many of my friends seemed to be.

In college, any gig is a big deal, even if it doesn’t pay a lot. I was called for such a gig that fall, and I eagerly accepted. This was a job a friend connected me with that involved playing drumset in the pit orchestra for a local middle school musical. Something had fallen through with their previous drummer, and they were thrilled that I could come sub. They were extremely thankful that I was able to make the time to come play, because they thought they were going to have to go drummer-less. I was happy to feel needed, and I was excited to put another gig on the calendar....even though I saw a potential conflict.

In order to do this musical gig, I was going to have to miss two wind ensemble rehearsals at school that week. No big deal, I naively thought to myself. I’ll just shoot the wind ensemble director an email and let him know. I can get the other percussionists to cover my parts, and nobody will even know I’m gone. My nonchalance quickly evaporated when I received the email reply from my professor. His email read something like this:

Dear Stephen,

As I’m sure you know, all music scholarship recipients are required to attend every rehearsal for this ensemble. Each missed rehearsal will be a dropped letter grade. Keep this in mind as you decide what you’d like to do. I believe you’ll make the right decision.

This hit me in the gut like nothing else ever had. I remember sitting on the side of my bed at home when I read this, and I instantly felt sick to my stomach. I had committed to a gig outside of school...without actually thinking through the consequences of ducking out of two school rehearsals. I knew that at this point I was going to really have to disappoint someone. Do I cancel on the middle school folks who were so happy and thankful to have me come play?... Or do I cancel on my school ensemble and receive a lower grade? Do I risk hurting my reputation outside of school?...Or do I hurt my reputation INSIDE of school?...

Thinking back now, this whole thing is a no-brainer. But in that moment of indecision I was crippled by anxiety and the fear of making the wrong decision. Naturally I reached out to my percussion teacher for advice. I asked my parents for advice. I even asked the friend who got me the musical gig for some advice.

They all pretty much told me the same thing. “Being loyal to your school and keeping your scholarship is far more important than keeping this gig that nobody will remember years from now. It’s much more important to maintain a solid reputation with your professors.” Of course, this advice was dead-on. But now I had to face the agony of cancelling on the folks who needed me. I had mistakenly committed to helping them out, and I had essentially failed. This was painful.

To my shock and surprise, the lady booking musicians for the musical was super chill upon hearing my apology. “It’ll be fine. We usually don’t even do these things with drummers anyways. Thanks for being available, though! Your school obligations are more important, so go do that. We’ll keep you in mind for next time.”

Massively relieved, I sent a quick email back to my wind ensemble director, telling him my decision. I immediately knew I had done the right thing (or at least the better of the two things!). His reply, of course, confirmed this, as he told me he appreciated my maturity and professionalism in making that decision.

I maintained a great reputation and relationship with my professor, and believe it or not that same middle school did call me a few months later to come play for another musical that summer. In the end, no relationships were ruined, no reputation was scarred, and now years later nobody would remember all of this anyways.

Professionalism 101 states that you are to remain true to your word. No cancelling the $75 gig so you can turn around and grab a $150 one. No cancelling the gig you’re less excited about to take one you’re more excited about. Also, have your priorities straight. Mine were totally mixed up and were thankfully quickly set straight without huge consequences. I was extremely fortunate to have learned this while in college. I consider this to have been the worst “mistake” of my career, and I’m glad it happened years ago in school. It’s important to learn certain things early on.

The thing is, this issue is an ongoing struggle. I’ve had to turn down so many gigs I’d love to take because of prior obligations. I have to keep myself from asking the “what if” questions. What if my career would be further along if I had bailed on that one boring gig to take the bigger one last year? What if I had bailed on a family gathering to take a last minute gig that maybe could have been a pivotal career event?

For me, being a musician is all about having priorities straight. It’s about being loyal to the gigs you’ve committed to, and it’s about being honest. I also choose to prioritize family, which makes saying no to occasional last minute gigs that conflict with family events difficult to rationalize. Everybody has to find the right balance with these kinds of things. You gotta eat, but at the same time you’ve gotta spend time with your family. I believe that God honors this, and I believe that when you get to the end of your life you won’t regret the times you chose family over a gig.

Thanks for reading, and God Bless,

Stephen