What YOU can learn from my biggest childhood fear
I felt this nauseating feeling rising up from my 8 year old gut to my tight throat as my mom pulled the van into the parking lot. This was day 3, and things hadn’t gotten any better. My parents had insisted that I’d be fine and that I’d get over it, but I wasn’t feeling any less terrified than I was two days ago. These people I had to face every day this week were trying to kill me, and I couldn’t come up with an escape plan. But today was day 3, Wednesday. Only 2 more days and this agonizing week of swim lessons would be over.
My fear of water wasn’t going anywhere, and it looked like I’d be living the rest of my life forever fearing drowning. This was embarrassing as an 8 year old, because all my friends were learning how to swim and were diving head first off the diving board. But I was the kid curled up in a ball in tears on the concrete - a good 6 feet from the edge of the pool. I was terrified just to jump into the pool without a life vest. I wouldn’t dare risk that, especially if I was jumping into the arms of the swim lesson teacher I didn’t particularly love. She might not let me drown, but she’d still let a bunch of water go up my nose. Not worth it.
I had good reason for this fear, because I’d almost drowned in a swimming pool at age 4. Thankfully, a family friend snagged me out of the pool before I’d been under too long. I ended up being fine, but the psychological scars weren’t so easy to shake off. Though my parents first put me through swim lessons at age 5, the fear kept coming back. 3 years later it was time for a second try. This second attempt in that icy pool the first week of May ended up doing absolutely nothing to quench my fears. But something else did.
Less than a month later, I was back at that same pool for a party with friends. We were there as a family this time, swimming, hanging out, and eating hotdogs. But something interesting happened that day.
As I stood at the edge of the pool looking down, I remembered my fear from a few weeks ago. Then my dad swam over....
“Stephen, jump in,” he calmly said, extending his arms. In that moment I knew that if I jumped, I’d be alright. The fear began melting away, because I knew that my dad had me. The one I trusted most was right there waiting for me, and he wasn’t going to let anything happen to me. So I jumped, and I’ve never been afraid of water since.
We all face fear. We all had those crippling childhood fears that seem so trivial looking back. Yet we carry with us a lot of new “adult” fears that are usually even harder to shake off as we get older. What fears are keeping you from reaching your drumming dreams? Maybe at one point all you wanted to do was play in a band. But the further away that dream got, the more real your fear became of messing up, being laughed at, not measuring up, and letting people down around you. The self consciousness only grew as you got older, leaving you in limbo not knowing if you even wanted to try to reach your dream.
But look. It’s time to leave the old identity behind. Leave behind the fear of rejection, the fear of imperfection, and the fear of never being able to reach your full potential skill.
- YOU are a fellow Non Glamorous Drummer.
- YOU are a committed action-taker who signed onto this email list probably because you really wanted to learn something new and grow on your instrument.
- YOU are fully capable of mastering the drums, even if you only have 30 minutes a day to work at it.
- YOU can accomplish ANYTHING on the drums when you’re armed with the right resources.
Forget “talent.” Embrace work ethic and curiosity! Maintain those two things, and you’ll go far. But you don’t have to do all of this alone.
Now coaching isn’t for everyone, but it is the absolute best way to get fast results. When you get one-on-one feedback tailored to your specific needs, you learn exactly what you need to practice to get the results you want. In other words, you discover shortcuts that help you reach your goals faster.
Check out what one of my students, Tom, had to say about coaching:
"Through [Stephen's] patient, easy going instruction on the mechanics of drumming, I've been able to fix a lot of self taught bad habits and improve my technique. He also challenged me with coordination exercises that really improved and broadened my drumming tool kit, which will help me play an even wider variety of styles than the rock/punk/ska I grew up playing along to. I never thought Zoom drum lessons would work, but they did and Stephen has been a huge help. Highly recommended for all drummers who want to build those fundamental "non-glamorous" skills that enable you to play all the flashy fun stuff with speed, dynamics, and ease!"
Right now I have just a few spots available in my schedule, so if you’re interested in applying for one-on-one lessons, click here for all the info. There on the webpage you’ll find everything you need to know, plus you can fill out the quick, 2-minute application form.
That’s all for today! Whether or not you’re interested in pursuing one-on-one coaching, be an action-taker. Choose to push past your own fears and insecurities, and show up to your practice sessions ready to grow. Get started right here on either of these popular playlists on the channel....
All the best tips for loose, relaxed grip!
The most effective strategies and exercises for freeing your limbs!
Thanks & God bless,
Stephen
Btw, I didn't take the cover photo of the pool. It's by Lee Jeffs on Unsplash, and because it's cool I thought I'd give him a shoutout! :)
